As with so many things, talking about puberty with your kids is essential to do ahead of time. It’s all too easy to put it off or avoid talking about it altogether.
But your kids are never too young for simple, age-appropriate discussions about their bodies. Like it or not, kids often begin hearing about sex from classmates in early elementary school.
Even if you feel awkward, introducing necessary physiological information when they’re toddlers and preschoolers builds a foundation for the future.
Why It’s Important to Talk About It
Sex aside, kids need to know that their bodies will be changing in big ways. They’re probably used to family remarking on how tall they’ve gotten over the years. They get comments on how long their hair is, or how short it is, or that they have glasses.
While they know they’ll keep gaining height, they need to know what else comes along with that.
Another reason to start talking about it early is that puberty starts earlier than it used to. To many parents, it’s hard even to imagine that their sweet, silly, still-cuddly third-grader could be showing physical changes of puberty within the next year or two. But many of them will. And the hormonal changes begin well before any outward signs do.
An important tip: don’t try to fit everything into one big conversation. Work bits and pieces in naturally and casually. Don’t act embarrassed about the topics.
Here are some things your kids need to know.
How Babies Are Made
It may sound silly to say it this way. But any discussion of puberty should stem from the reasons why puberty occurs: reproduction. Children need to have a basic understanding of where babies come from and what each gender contributes.
Many appropriate resources are available. Consider having this conversation early and often, long before more detailed talks about what will happen to them at puberty.
Physical Signs of Puberty
Girls
Make sure your daughter knows what menstruation is and why it happens. Imagine how scary it would be to start your period and have no idea what was going on. It can be helpful to give yourself a refresher before sharing information with your kids.
Girls also need to know that their breasts will gradually start growing. Take your daughter shopping for a training bra and sanitary supplies. Make it into a special girl time with a meal out or a movie.
Boys
Boys need to know that their penis and scrotum will be changing. They need to know what an erection is and why they might wake up to wet sheets. Explain why their voice will change.
Keeping all conversations open, non-judgmental, and light-hearted helps.
Both Genders
Both genders, of course, need to know that they’ll begin developing pubic and underarm hair. Explain how hormones can cause acne and affect mood and energy levels.
And, both genders need to know what is happening with the opposite sex. Be sure to include that information as well when you talk about puberty.
Change Happens At Its Own Pace
Make sure to tell your child that everyone at their school will experience puberty. Some people show signs before others. Some will start later. No matter when it starts, the full process will take several years.
They Can Trust You
As uncomfortable as it can be, keeping an open, honest attitude about puberty and sex is vital. Your kids need to know that they can come to you with questions or concerns.
They’ll likely hear crazy, inaccurate information from peers. Having a trusted adult sounding board is so important during these years.
If your kids are struggling with the changes that adolescence and puberty bring, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. I specialize in working with this age group and love to help parents, as well. Please reach out to my office today.
