Parenting is quite a paradox. So, so many people do it. Yet, very few ever appear to be prepared for what it entails. This might be because entering parenthood is as life-changing as it gets. How does one fully plan to have everything turned upside down?
You’ll have less money, time, privacy, sex, energy, sleep, and more. Meanwhile, you will be presented with more responsibility than you may ever face in your entire life. So yeah, it sounds daunting but this does not mean you can’t be as ready as possible. You’ll need teamwork, commitment, and self-awareness to make that happen.
Turn On Your Inner Organizer
The goal is not 100 percent preparation. The goal is to commit to doing your best, day-in and day-out. This means you and your partner must enter into all-out organization mode. To counter the uncertainty of this big change, you’ll need a checklist — or three. Some suggestions for those checklists include:
Talk to Your Employer
Clarify when you’ll need time off and for how long.
Inquire about schedule flexibility and/or remote work.
Manage Personal Finances
Create a budget with some flexibility built-in.
Pay off as much debt as possible.
Put away enough money to cover at least three months of expenses.
Divide Household Responsibilities
Sit down with your partner to develop a plan to keep some version of structure.
Divide up basic tasks like cleaning, cooking, shopping, etc.
Of course, upon bringing your baby home, there will be a major adjustment period. Don’t worry if your schedules and checklists don’t kick in for a week or two. Cut yourself some slack — especially if it’s your first child. Perfection is never the goal.
Practice Self-Care
Evaluate your habits and patterns.
Quit smoking, drinking, overeating, or unhealthy sleep patterns.
Commit to daily exercise — together with your partner, if feasible.
Take up practices like meditation or yoga or other forms of stress management.
Get as much sleep as you can until your baby arrives!
Talk With Your Partner About Lifestyle Changes
You will be saying goodbye to spontaneity and privacy. Talk openly together about the looming but inevitable changes to your sex life. In addition, your social life will look nothing like it did in the past. Your friends without kids may temporarily fall to the wayside. But it remains essential to maintain a strong support network.
You may logically wish to withdraw and focus all your energies on your new baby. But you will need plenty of help. Talk to family and close friends ahead of time. Let them know you will be calling on them. Ask them how open they are to lending a hand. There is no shame in being wiped out as a new parent. Ask for the help you need.
Emotional Challenges
Your relationship dynamic certainly changed during pregnancy. That’s just a small taste of what lies ahead. Do not leave this aspect to chance. Relationship stress will be real and it will be ever-present. For this reason, many couples commit to counseling well in advance of the big changes.
Your weekly sessions — in-person or via video chat — will help you prepare for your new life roles. Therapy is a safe space in which you can air out fears, concerns, and hopes. Hash out such topics before they can turn into problems. This is essential for laying the groundwork for a smoother transition into parenthood.
Once again, no one can plan for everything. The “perfect parent” does not exist. But there is so much value in your preparation. Let’s connect for a free and confidential consultation. Together, we can get you as prepared as possible for parenthood. Please read more about family therapy and contact me soon for a consultation.
