Loss can be a difficult thing to accept. But when the pain of it drags on, determining whether or not your difficulty recovering is healthy can be complicated.
That said, experiencing grief is normal. Also, there is no specific time period that determines how long you should grieve. There should simply be a point at which you can process the emotions, intergate the experience, begin moving ahead.
If you’ve been grieving for a while but can’t sense much progress or healing, then it might be time to seek out professional help. Consider the differences between grief types and how to cope.
Understanding Different Types of Grief
Typical Grief
It’s hard to tell if you’re in the thick of it but there actually are different ways of grieving. The first might be considered “typical” or, “normal” grief. With this type of grief, you feel the emotions of your loss. It hurts knowing that your loved one is gone. To cope, you go through a process of letting go.
Also, you might talk with your friends and family about what happened, and how much your loved one meant to you. These are all normal bereavement experiences! It’s normal to feel sad or angry after a loss and have recurring thoughts and feelings about your loss. They allow you to achieve acceptance, obtain closure, and move on. However, what if this doesn’t happen?
Complicated Grief
Another type of grief is called complicated grief. It’s often not easy to pick up on complicated grief early. Rather, it’s something that becomes more apparent over time. For instance, let’s say it’s been several months since you experienced the loss. Typically, symptoms of grief fade over time. However, with complicated grief, those feelings still remain. In fact, things have gotten only worse. For example:
The pain you feel over the loss is still as intense as the first day
You feel bitter or jaded
It’s difficult to direct your attention on anything else except your grief.
You wish so badly that your loved one was still here
Feeling emotionally detached from life has become a problem
These are symptoms of complicated grief. In this case, you have not moved on at all. In fact, they have caused you to change your entire mindset and outlook on life.
The Deeper Meaning of Complicated Grief
When we take a step back to look at the big picture, two issues come to light with complicated grief. They are:
Trauma: Experiencing any kind of loss can be considered a traumatic event. If you are still struggling with moving on months after the loss has occurred, it might be that you are still having trouble processing that trauma.
Depression: With complicated grief many of the symptoms resemble depression. Certainly, when you experience a loss that hurts so badly, it can send you into the realm of depression.
As mentioned above, experiencing a loss can change your entire mindset. If you were once hopeful and optimistic, but are now pessimistic, jaded, and sad that is definitely a shift in perspective. But what can be done about it?
Getting Professional Help for Grief
When you are struggling with recovering from a loss, it’s important to get professional help. There are several benefits to therapy. For one, it provides you a space in which you can truly express what you are feeling. Also, therapy will help you with understanding what you are feeling in the first place. Grief can be a complicated process that really takes a toll on your mental health. Having a therapist in your corner to guide you through the grieving process will help.
Everyone experiences a loss in their lifetime. What you shouldn’t do is run away from the feelings of grief. However, if time has passed and you haven’t yet recovered, it might be time to get professional help.
