If you are the parent of a young child, then you’ve probably already heard of “resilience” or “grit” from articles or podcasts.
Resiliency is all about having the ability to cope when things are challenging.
Whether it’s facing the challenge of an upcoming school project or coping with a family tragedy, resiliency has proven to be invaluable for children.
But why is it essential, and how can parents promote resiliency?
Let’s explore the idea of grit more, and what you can do to teach it to your kids.
What Is Resiliency?
First, let’s examine further what exactly is resiliency. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, resiliency can be defined as, “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to adversity or change.”
To sum it up, resiliency can adapt. And not only cope or deal with a situation but thrive. It means the difference between succeeding or failing when times get tough or challenging.
Why Is It Essential?
Resiliency is a crucial concept as change will be a constant force in your child’s life. There will be both positive changes (such as graduating high school or getting married) but also negative change, as well. The latter is when individuals experience loss, defeat, or powerlessness.
How your child handles these life events will influence their ability to adapt and recover in the future, too. Of course, as a parent, it’s understandable if you want to protect your child from hardship, pain, and loss.
However, having formative experiences that require children to learn resiliency is essential for when they face challenges in adulthood.
When Resiliency Is Not Present
There’s a reason why children need to learn to be resilient. Because, when they grow up, if they don’t have those tools already available, there is a higher likelihood they will flounder.
For example, they will find it easier to avoid stressful situations, rather than confront them head-on. Or, they may try to escape by using or abusing drugs or alcohol. This approach can lead to fractured relationships and much more personal struggles than you would have realized.
How Parents Can Promote Resiliency
Of course, there’s no guarantee that a worst-case scenario would occur to your child. However, it does highlight the need for parents to promote and teach resiliency to their children. Here are a few ways to do so:
Encourage Risk-Taking
Maybe it’s trying out for a soccer team or publishing an article in the school paper. There are plenty of ways to take risks that don’t have to be dangerous, yet also encourage resiliency.
Show Support
The relationship with you and your child is vital for helping them build resiliency. They must know you support them to try. And, if they fail, that you will still love and accept them. That acceptance is critical for them to be successful.
Get Outside
Yes, technology will undoubtedly play a role in your child’s future. That’s why it’s helpful for them to get outside and play — the outdoors foster creativity, fun, and problem-solving skills. There are plenty of ways to facilitate outdoor experiences for kids, whether they are toddlers or teenagers.
Gauge Your Response
When parenting your child, especially when they are struggling with something, how do you respond? Do you chastise them for not succeeding? Or, do you sit with them and ask what did they learn? How would they do things differently?
By doing the latter, rather than chastising them, you teach your child that these speed bumps are learning opportunities, not failures.
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Every child will benefit from learning resiliency so that they can adapt to an ever-changing world. You can do a lot to help facilitate this process.
However, if your child is struggling with these early experiences, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Please read more about family therapy and reach out to me today to discuss how I can help you raise a more resilient child.
