Everyone navigates their sexual identity in their own way. This is how it should be but make no mistake; there will be similarities across each and every story. These universal threads are what make it possible for others to help you. Others can relate. They understand some or most of your struggles. This is part of the reason why therapy can help with exploring sexual orientation.
Both the exploration and the coming out can be challenging processes. We live in a society with strong behavioral expectations. This code is enforced, and sometimes, rewards and punishments are at play. Simply put, it helps to have the support you need.
What is Sexual Identity?
Identity is not synonymous with orientation, e.g., for whom you feel romantic and sexual attraction. Sexual identity is an awareness of having a gender. That said, when a person is navigating their sexual identity, their orientation will also be under a microscope. In other words, you could be recognizing who you are and who you like.
Keep in mind, however, that you’re not choosing an identity for life. What you are doing is gaining a much better understanding of the person you are now. This knowledge can help you shape a way of life that feels natural and authentic.
The Six Stages of Coming Out
Again, this process is different for everyone. The following stages are more like guidelines. They also serve to help you feel less alone and confused.
Stage 1: Confusion
It’s normal to assume your identity will match up with the majority. Therefore, you may end up quite confused when realizing that what you feel and think does not match society’s standards.
Stage 2: Comparison
You start looking around, hoping to grasp what others think and how they feel. Over time, it becomes clear that you’re different from the standard. Such a realization can ensure acceptance. But usually, it first leads to denial.
Stage 3: Tolerance
The denial mentioned in Stage 2 has the potential to deepen. However, it’s far more likely that you begin to connect with others and feel less alone and confused.
Stage 4: Acceptance
Connecting with subcultures gives you the social life you prefer. As acceptance grows, you may decide to come out to a very select group of trusted friends and family.
Stage 5: Pride
Here is where the big shift commences. Acceptance is one thing. Pride is a major leap forward. However, it is possible in Stage 5 to feel antagonistic to the mainstream/heterosexual community.
Stage 6: Synthesis
They call this coming full circle. It’s no longer us vs. them. You’re comfortable with anyone who offers mutual respect. At the same time, you recognize that your sexual identity is one of many ways you exist in the world at large.
For the record, this list of stages is not meant to imply that the process is linear or over. We’re talking about an ongoing process that is best navigated with the help of an experienced guide.
How Therapy Can Help You Navigate Your Sexual Identity
Counseling has long been an effective avenue for addressing issues pertaining to sex, romance, identity, and finding a community. It’s only natural that such a protocol could offer support to anyone seeking clarity on their social identity and orientation.
Your weekly sessions become your safe space. It’s a place of confidentiality. You can share openly and examine emotions with the assistance of a skilled professional. Therapy is where you can put aside fears of being judged or attacked for what you feel. The goal is not to push you in any particular direction. Rather, you’ll learn the skills you need to make the healthiest decision for yourself.
