If a person changes their gender expression, identity, or both over time, this is called gender fluidity. The inclusion of the word “fluidity” implies that such changes may continue. In fact, the changes can be steady. For example, a person could express themselves in a masculine way in one setting but in a more feminine way in another setting. This is one of the ways “gender fluid” differs from “transgender.”
Being gender fluid (also called “genderqueer”) does not automatically imply a particular sexual orientation. Identity and expression are not connected to who you are attracted to. Also, people who are gender fluid often use neutral pronouns like they/them/theirs.
What is Gender Identity?
This relates to an individual’s sense of who they are, e.g., their particular gender. It’s how they inherently see themselves. Two important facts to consider:
You cannot discern a person’s gender identity just by looking at them.
An individual’s gender identity may or may not correspond to biology or sex assigned at birth.
What is Gender Expression?
You can describe this as the outward or public expression of one’s gender identity. There are countless ways this expression can manifest. Here are some examples:
Hair
Make-up
Clothing
Body language
Accessories
Voice
Physical appearance
Chosen name
Pronouns
Actions that communicate a specific gender role
Gender Fluid Facts
There are 78 gender pronouns.
There are somewhere between 68 and 76 different genders.
2 million Americans between 18 and 60 identify as non-binary (but not all non-binary folks are gender fluid).
Why Gender Fluidity Matters
Being gender fluid in a society that mostly doesn’t understand is challenging. Traditional gender roles create expectations. When these expectations are not met, it can cause confusion. In some cases, it can provoke hostility, discrimination, and even violence. This reality is reason enough to say gender fluidity matters. If more and more people get informed about societal changes, it reduces the chances of a conflict.
Another major way that gender identity and expression matter is the role they play in the safety and health of anyone who is gender fluid. In 2022:
People who are LGBTIQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, intersex, queer, or questioning) are at a much higher risk for mental health problems.
Half of LGBTIQ+ people experienced depression.
60 percent struggle with an anxiety disorder.
One in eight have attempted suicide.
One in eight LGBTIQ+ people have also faced discrimination when seeking healthcare of any kind.
As a result, one in seven no longer seek healthcare.
At least 30 percent of all hate crimes target the victim’s gender or perceived gender.
Some Basic First Steps You Can Take
When interacting with someone who is gender fluid, remain open and ask respectful questions if you have any.
Create a safe, non-judgmental environment where everyone involved can communicate in a healthy manner.
Use inclusive language.
Celebrate unity and diversity.
Most importantly, treat someone who is gender fluid with the same respect you’d have for anyone else you meet. It’s not about “special” treatment. It’s about fundamental respect.
Wherever You Fit Into This Equation, Ask For Help
You might be gender fluid. You might have a gender-fluid child, co-worker, student, or neighbor. From all angles, there are challenges. But, wherever you stand, help is available. Therapy is an excellent venue for working through these very difficult scenarios. It’s a setting where you can be as blunt and honest as you wish without fear of being judged.
I have worked with plenty of people who have navigated the world of gender fluidity—from the inside or outside. I’d love to help you, too. If anything here resonated with you, I hope you’ll reach out soon for more information.
