It doesn’t matter if you receive loads of accolades and words of praise. In the back of your mind, there might be a voice that reminds you that you’re not enough.
Whatever you have done to deserve your achievements, it doesn’t seem to matter. You might still feel like you fall short.
Isn’t that a terrible way to go through life? Especially when you do deserve all the credit that you receive (and perhaps then some).
Here are some ideas about maintaining your self-esteem and dignity amid the barrage of “not enough” thoughts.
Take a Step Back from the Rat Race
Have you ever found yourself willing to take on more commitments? Perhaps you try to go above and beyond when it comes to your job? Are you the type of person that insists on doing everything yourself rather than delegating tasks?
It might be that you insist on doing it all because you feel it’s your responsibility. However, the result is that nothing honestly gets done. Not because you are lazy, but rather from spreading yourself too thin.
So, why not take a step back and trim the list of your current commitments? That doesn’t mean you don’t care. Instead, it’s an effort to maintain your self-esteem and dignity.
Surround Yourself With Caring People
Think about your relationships for a moment. Which individuals in your life contribute to maintaining your self-esteem and dignity and which don’t?
Keep in mind; these are not individuals who heap loads of empty praise on you to ingratiate themselves, far from it. These are the people that you can count on to be on your side through thick-and-thin. They are your posse, squad, etc.
Now, consider that you don’t have to completely disengage from people who are not solely in this category. But maybe keep them more at a distance. However, those relationships that you consider toxic might need reevaluating.
Give Yourself Simple Reminders
Sometimes you get so caught up in the moment with a current task that you forget to think, “I’m good enough.” When that happens, it helps to pause. Give yourself a simple reminder that you are worthy.
It doesn’t have to be a long, complicated personal speech. Although, if you have a good one in mind, it can’t hurt! Instead, try to keep it simple. The reminder should be something that you can repeatedly say to yourself.
When you say it over and over, the result is almost meditative. You slow down and can recenter into a healthier mindset.
Accept Yourself Completely
A vital idea to consider is personal acceptance. This approach is when you accept who you are completely and totally. These include the things that make you shine and your flaws.
It’s those flaws that you often find yourself running away from. You try to prove that you are enough, but those flaws are constant reminders about how you fall short.
But guess what? We all have this happen to us, one way or another. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just a part of what it means to be human.
Maintaining your self-esteem and dignity isn’t always looking into a mirror and giving yourself positive reminders. Instead, look deeper into yourself and reflect on the traits reinforcing the “not enough” mindset.
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Try something different — use the ideas above to counter that narrative. However, sometimes it’s hard to break very entrenched patterns of thinking. That’s where individual counseling and therapy can help.
Please reach out to my office if you’re ready to challenge the “not enough” thoughts and establish a healthy sense of self-esteem in your life. I’m here to help.
