They may have invented the word “paradox” specifically for this scenario. Your dream has come true. You just had your first baby. Meanwhile… you’ve never felt more stressed or confused in your entire life. How in the world will you balance out all these highs and lows?
You have been tasked with a dual mission. Of course, your top priority is to meet the needs of your new baby. Yet somehow, you cannot and must not neglect your own needs. The goal is not perfection. You won’t always get in right. But, rest assured, you will find ways to make this work.
6 Simple Ways to Meet Your Needs and Your New Baby’s Too
1. Keep Talking
Your newborn will thrive from being spoken to. Studies show that the more language they are exposed to, it increases their odds of:
Having an easier time in school
Developing a large vocabulary
Higher intelligence
Obviously, in the beginning, it’s not about the content of your words. So, this is an ideal chance to meet both your needs. As you work out details related to work, home, your marriage, social life, etc., do so out loud. Calmly talk to your baby about what’s on your mind and how you plan to deal with it.
2. Laugh and Be Silly
In times of pressure, you need a release. Laughter and humor have wonderful stress relief properties. Meanwhile, your baby is feeling limited in how they can interact with their environment. One of the only ways they can communicate is through their gaze.
So, every time your newborn looks at you, react. Say something funny. Make a silly face. Giggle and laugh. You will almost certainly get something silly in return. Before you know it, you’ve got a full-blown laugh-fest happening! Baby is thrilled as it learns about human interaction. You get to let off some steam by dialing down any tension you were feeling.
3. Be a Team
If you have a partner, practice working together to make this run smoothly. Take turns focusing on the child while the other gets to nap or shower or meditate. Also, spend time together with your baby. The child will love it and you will be deepening your bond.
4. When Your Baby Cries, Pick Them Up
There are many schools of thought here but the most recent research supports picking them up. By quickly picking up your baby when they start crying:
The more independent they eventually become
Your child learns to feel safe with you
The less you have to hear them cry
That last item is soothing your needs. Across cultures, humans find the sound of a baby crying to be unpalatable. This is partly because we’ve evolved to care for them. In modern life, it’s also a powerful way to reduce your anxiety.
5. Involve Your Baby in Your Day
You might be doing sit-ups or laundry or cooking dinner. Whatever it is, get your work done and keep your baby close. They get to be near you and bond with you. You keep knocking things off your to-do list. Narrating your efforts is an ideal way to work in some “conversation” with your newborn.
6. Sing and Dance!
This is another simple way to integrate silliness, attention, and learning into your baby’s world. Meanwhile, you get to rock out and cool down. Play some music and get moving. Dance with your baby, sing to them and encourage them to feel the beat.
No one expects new parents to have it all figured out right away. If you need help and support, please read more about family therapy and contact me soon to set up a consultation.
