You quarantined with your partner for a long time. After hibernating together through months of cold and snow, you weathered the shorter days and longer nights, as well as COVID constraints. Now, it’s time to break out and get some breathing room, so to speak.
Let’s face it, at first, you thought being together all the time might be OK, even fun. But now you’re over it and you’re ready to see some new people and enjoy the warm weather!
While your feelings are understandable, do remember that the goal is not to break up with your partner and we still have a ways to go before we can gather together as safely as we used to. So, be good to yourself and kind to your partner as you re-enter the world.
Here’s how you can get some space in your relationship and still have fun as we gradually start to gather again:
Rain or Shine, Get Outside!
As always, the outdoors is not off-limits. You can go outside and have fun whatever the temperature. For example:
Be adventurous! Go walking, hiking, jogging, bike riding, and more for some solitary time.
Claim a corner of your porch, patio, yard, etc as your own. Let it be known that it is your place to be alone.
Two words: fire pit. Whatever the season, an hour alone, gazing at the flames in a proper pit, or the tabletop version can be a relaxing escape from so much togetherness.
Just because the virus lingers doesn’t mean you can’t take a step back and meet your need for quiet retreat.
Find Privacy and Fun Indoors
For a while yet, we may still find ourselves spending more time distanced indoors, with just our pod of loved ones. However, that doesn’t mean you and your partner can’t agree to make more time for yourselves as individuals. Some ideas include:
Having your own personal retreat, whether it’s a spare room, a corner in common space, or even a closet.
Reserve a comfortable chair when you listen to books or music using headphones or earbuds.
Practice mindfulness exercises such as deep breathing and meditation in a sunny window.
Get busy using your newfound pandemic skills. Baking, gardening, and home organizing are great mental escapes.
Play guitar in the backyard, create art at the kitchen table, dance in the dining room.
There’s plenty to do inside that’s fun while also providing some much-needed “me time.”
Communicate with Your Partner
You’ve been hearing throughout this pandemic that communicating with your partner is essential. That’s still true and will continue to be true. Talk to your partner about why you need some private time. Discuss ideas for how you can get that need met.
Ask for them to recognize the signs that you are taking care of yourself, and respect the boundary. For instance, before you listen to your book, let your partner know that you’ll have your headphones on. They will know to be quiet and know you are taking space. Above all else, make sure that your partner knows that your need to be by yourself isn’t a rejection of them.
Finding a Balance Between “Me” and “Us”
Many couples, during the pandemic, had to find the balance between spending time alone and spending time together. Unlike the winter, as the temperatures, warm and you can go outside onto the porch, patio, or into the backyard. You can, and should, make more space. But, again, communication and consideration are key. Still, take the time to have fun together. For instance, be intentional, you can set aside time to
Play a board game
Put together a puzzle
Exercise together
Cuddle in a hammock
Cook a delicious meal
Just because you’re a little bored with each other doesn’t mean you should back away completely. Allow the breaks you take away from each other to bring you closer together.
When You Need Help
Still, what if some problems of communication have arisen throughout the pandemic? Have you been trying to communicate with your partner and not finding success? You are not alone, please reach out for professional support.
Couples therapy might be just what you need now. A skilled therapist can help you both navigate your issues and uncover the deeper reasons why you are having trouble. Maybe your partner feels rejected, or you are overwhelmed with stress and anxiety. A therapist will help you take steps towards resolution and repair. Let’s talk soon, I’m here to help.
